My Dirty Little Secrets

Well, Matt and I thought it would be fun to join our kids in the monthly updates department. So the idea was that Matt would entertain us with his own writing on the 18th of every month. As you can see that didn't happen, but it will. That's just Matt. And then you get to hear from me (yet again), on the 22nd. I'll just write about whatever I can come up with, I guess. Sounds fun, right? Right? Please say yes, because in all actuality I can't imagine that anyone would want to read the stuff I will come up with every 22nd.

But this month I've decided to give you a little treat. If you're like me, and read a few "real" blogs to get ideas on activities to do with kids, crafts, cooking, etc. you might also be like me and get a little frustrated at times with their "perfectness." I will start to feel guilty that I'm not making nightly gourmet meals, sewing all my clothes by hand, and doing at least 5 educational and artsy projects with my children each day. So, if you ever get a case of mommy guilt, I want you to come on over to this post and read until you feel all better and can say, "Well, at least I don't do THAT!"

*Jane looked down at my pajama pants and said, "Do you love those pants? You wear them all the time." Yes, blog-world I wear my pajama pants all the time at home. If I'm feeling especially ambitious I will put on a solid colored pair of exercise pants. I think they look nice. I would never wear jeans at home. They are so uncomfortable. And when Jane runs out of comfy pants for her to wear I always feel so cruel when I make her wear jeans around the house. They're torturous.

*I HATE cleaning. There are some people who like it. I HATE it. I don't find it fun at all. Thankfully I do like "picking up." It gives me a great sense of accomplishment when I can see everything back in it's place. I pick up the house several times a day. But cleaning is another story. I only clean things once a week. Yes, that means I only vacuum once a week. And yes, I only sweep and mop once a week. Ok, I'll sweep in between if I HAVE to. Like when Jane walked through the kitchen and frustratedly shouted "there's so much stuff!" talking about the crumbs collecting on the bottom of her feet. That was a moment of HAVE to. And please don't fear coming over to my house. If I know you're coming I'll probably run through my cleaning chores just for you. But I won't be happy about it.

*A long time ago Jane started having this fear of going to bed with her door shut. She really, really needs it to be open. If it closes she will be terrified and scream hysterically. And like the great mom that I am, I use that little piece of knowledge to my full advantage. Like if she's goofing around before bedtime, "Jane if you don't get over here right now I will shut your door!" Works every time.

*I try to do art stuff and preschool type projects with Jane. Sometimes I like it. Sometimes I do it because I feel like I have to. But I'm not the best at letting her express herself through art. Like when we made our family of snowmen. "You really want to put two different colored eyes? Are you sure? People don't have two different colored eyes."

*Somedays I dream of getting up in the morning and driving to work. I haven't thought through what that work would be but I know it wouldn't involve anyone under the age of 18.

*Days and days can pass and Jane and Jack (or I) won't get so much as a breath of outside air. Admittedly this is only a winter problem, and I was much better pre-herniated disc, but still.

*I only just started brushing Jane's teeth twice a day. It was a new year's resolution. You know what else was a new year's resolution? Getting Jane out of her nighttime diaper and into her panties BEFORE she announces she needs to use the bathroom at noon.

*Before bedtime I will read one book to Jane and she will read one book to me. I want her to enjoy reading and I want it to be fun for her. So why, on occasion, when it takes her a full five minutes to get through a page am I biting my knuckle to keep from screaming the rest of the sentence out so we can move on already! And why in the world are there times when she wants to talk on and on about what's happening in the pictures do I point at the first word and say, "If you don't start reading right now we're done." That doesn't make any sense, does it?

*I'm a BCABA (board certified associate behavior analyst). Ok, I've let that lapse, I think, but trust me I know more than I care to about the importance of follow-through, about behaviors and consequences and antecedents. So, why oh why do I tell Jane she can't do something, only to give in as soon as the irritating whine begins?

*Sometimes Jack sleeps in later than Jane. For that reason I am desperately trying to teach Jane to get out of her bed, quietly go into the family room and turn on the TV that I have all cued up for Nick, channel 27 on volume level 7... if she will only hit that one little power button.

See Jane? Sometimes mommies need to go on time-out too.


Well, there you have it, blog-world. I hope you'll still be my friend. In my defense, I really, really, really love Jane, Jack and Matt. Surely that counts for something.

Now, come on, Matt, we need your post! Oh, and remember how Christmas was a month ago? We still need to post that too.