The Cruise, Post Dos--Belize

It's Matt, and this is Part II of the Cruise. So after we sailed the Caribbean, we landed in Belize. Actually, we didn't land there. We paused in the middle of the water and waited for the tenders. "Tenders"--that's what Julie kept saying. "We've got to get up early tomorrow. We're getting picked up by the tenders." A tender? Julie was always dropping words like that. Words totally unfamiliar to first-time cruisers. I had never used the word tender as a noun unless it was a chicken tender. And even then it doesn't make sense without the modifier. All I knew was, I was on vacation and some stupid tender was going to wake me up. So we woke up early and turns out the tender is just a boat that takes you to shore when the boat you're on is too big.

Here we are on a tender speeding away from our ship:

The plan was, we get to shore and some guy named Major Tom would take us cave tubing. Cave tubing was probably the most talked about activity before we went on the cruise. I was never quite sure what it would entail, but I like caves and I like tubing, and if it would be anything like the successful marriage of peanut butter and chocolate, I was confident it would be a fun day. The tender drops us off on the land, which we discovered was the ugliest part of Belize, and there's Major Tom. I desperately wanted to ask him what he knew about Ground Control, and if they'd had any communication lately, but he shifted my gears when he announced cave tubing was out. The water was too high. The man barely flinched and jumped right into selling us an alternative. His experience and our naïveté quickly got us on a bus to a "world class zoo." This zoo is built into the jungle, and you are "this close (Major Tom holds his hand inches from his face) to a jaguar." What did he say? Put me back on the tender. That's not a world class zoo. That's a third world zoo.

So Major Tom left us (probably didn't want to be "this close to a jaguar") in the care of his son, "Minor Tom." Minor Tom drove us into the heart of Belize. The best way I can describe the heart of Belize is that it looks like a cross between the Everglades and a trashy vacant lot. But time with the Jespersens is always a good time, and the zoo ended up being pretty cool after all. And there were fences in that small space described by Major Tom. The only downside was they only had about five animals. First animal we saw was a deer. Lame. Spider monkeys next. What do you think of spider monkeys, Jane? Forget the spider monkeys, there's steps! Jane's second favorite past time on the cruise behind running while laughing: going up and down steps--by herself. "Daddy not hold hand."

Sounds lamer than a deer in a zoo, but not to Jane:

Then we saw a tapir. I've never seen anything in my life like a male tapir. Since this is a family show, I'll end it there.

A little aside: Jane's aunts deserve major props for toting her through the jungles of Belize and Guatemala. Jane would say "I wanna hold (insert aunt's name)," and her aunts were always willing.

First up, Aunt Gaylene:

Next up, Aunt Sharon:

And if I'm not mistaken, Jane sees something more interesting than steps. But she's not the only one transfixed.

Aunt Tammy unholsters her camera:

And Aunt Jenni too!

A toucan!

We Jespersens like our toucans. Just wait until Guatemala.

The whole time we're walking around we keep hearing this fabulously enormous roar, like a belching elephant. "What is that, Minor Tom?" "That's a howler monkey." Aptly named. Turns out the howler monkey is the loudest land animal. I believe it.

So does Jane:

Jane seemed a bit nervous, yet intrigued by them. Uncle John got them howling louder with a few well thrown acorns.

This feller wasn't too happy:

A well-timed kiss from Mommy allays all nervousness. What a cute pair:

From the zoo, we headed off to a fun time at a water slide and rope swing. No pictures of that, since a water slide and a rope swing are just about all I need for fun. The camera sat and we all jumped in. My proudest moment came when Ella went off the rope swing.

From there, on to beautiful Belize City:

And the Fort Street Flea Market:

Where Jane did a little haggling, and Aunt Tammy did the paying:

And Daddy got offered pot by this nice man:

Don't let the rainmakers and the bamboo mugs fool you. After I turned them both down, he leaned in closer and said, "Smoke ganja?" I said no, but you should talk to my sisters. Aunt Tracy and Aunt Jenni nearly converted to Rastafarianism after only a day in Belize:

What did Jane think of Aunt Tracy's new hairdo?

Judging from the look on her face, she thought it was a howler monkey:

And that was Belize. We jumped back onto the chicken tender, headed to our ship, and started eating again. Part III, Guatemala, baby! The best part of the cruise.