The Cruise, Part I--Tampa, Key West, The Ocean

Hello blogdience. This is Matt. This is Part I of the Cruise. For those of you who aren't aware, my whole family went on a cruise to commemorate my parents' 50th wedding anniversary. A lot happened, so I've separated our story into chunks.

First off, never fly United. Ella and I are 0 for 3 when flying United. They canceled our flight on Christmas Day a couple years ago. Then they left us stuck overnight in Denver when a delayed flight caused us to miss our connector. So what happened to us this time? In SLC, the plane was broken, so they told us to fly Delta, but didn't bother with the luggage. So Delta got us to Tampa, and when United decided to give them our luggage, Delta got that to us in Key West. Generous Jespersens and reasonably priced Target got us through until then, but not before I tried to wash my underwear using hotel shampoo as detergent and the blow dryer to dry it. I found out that leaves underwear misshapen and scratchy.

Jane thinks Nerds® taste the same whether you fly Delta or United:

We left Tampa and the jurisdiction of United Airlines behind us and headed off to Key West. I've never been on a cruise, and one of the cool things I discovered, is you can eat food whenever you want. So we ate all the way to Key West. Ella and I love Key West. This was our third time visiting. We rented a little glorified golf cart to rip around the island at 23mph. The guy who rented it to us came to pick us up in a van. The first words out of his mouth were: "Answer your G.D. phone." And then he smiled real big. Somehow that's actually charming in Key West.

Jenni and Jared admire our hot little motor car:

We picked up Gaylene, ate some key lime pie, and were off to the Key West Cemetery. I don't know why but Ella and I have always enjoyed cemeteries. That's no joke. We often would visit the Provo Cemetery when we were dating, and I think it's lent a nice sepulchral tone to our marriage. Key West's cemetery is interesting because it has a lot of above-ground vaults like in New Orleans. But I don't want to bore you cheery folk with all the details.

Jane for her part managed to pass the time desecrating graves:

Aunt Gaylene was a bad influence:

Nothing tugs at Ella's heartstrings like the grave of an infant. And nothing makes Jane want to laugh and run like a mausoleum.

Apologies to the Sawyer family:

From there we were off to the Southernmost Point of the Continental U.S. I've always thought it was ironic that the Southernmost Point is flanked on either side by points more southern. It's the Southernmost Publicly Accessible Point in the Continental U.S. And no trip to Key West is complete without a picture at the marker.

Here we are, bookended by cyclists:

Sharon never went to the beach because Ella let her know the beach at Key West is lame.

Here's a picture of the lame beach with stupid warm water in January:

Jane always enjoys a good jaunt to a lame beach:

After Key West, we got on the boat and started eating. We didn't stop till we got to Belize. And we had a day at sea in between. In fact, eating is such a big deal on the ship, they make you dress up for it. At dinner, our family took up four tables and all of our server's time.

If it wasn't for Julie, this cruise wouldn't have happened, and for that we are very grateful, and since Terrell was the best dressed man on the ship, I thought I'd include their picture:

And of course, the whole reason for the cruise was my parents.

Happy 50th Mom and Dad:

Could anybody steal their thunder? Of course. Her name's Jane, and on a ship full of AARP members, she lit up every room she entered. Everywhere she went people would say things like, "There's that girl we love," or they would want to take her picture.

Here she is looking elegant on our formal night:

That's all for Part I. Stay tuned to see what happens when Jane runs into a howler monkey in Belize.