The Cruise, Part III--Guatemala

Alright, here it is: Part III in the Cruise Series. Fair warning: it's a long one. It's longer than all the previous posts we've ever made combined.

This section of the cruise finds us in the much vaunted Guatemala. Of course, before the cruise, Guatemala was not vaunted much at all. It was like, huh, Guatemala, another notch on the butt of my gun that is "world travel." But outside of that, I wasn't expecting much. So we pull into Guatemala bright and early, but this time, no need of chicken tenders. We stepped off the boat into a jungle. A legitimate rain forest. It was absolutely stunning. I loved it. I took a lot of pictures, and you only have to look at a fraction of them, which is still going to be a lot. The rain forest grows from the mountains right down to the edge of the ocean:

But before our adventure could begin, we had to go into a curious little building where we would find our tour guide, and a bunch of people peddling their wares. It was fascinating because they were all selling the same stuff we bought in Belize. And I mean the exact same stuff. Rainmakers, mugs, tiny dolls, stone carvings, etc. Even more fascinating was the fact that we all walked up and bought it again. After purchasing duplicate souvenirs, the Jespersen clan found their tour guide, Eric, and jumped on a motor boat with him. This was the rockiest boat Jane had been on, and when it started to pull away slowly from the dock, Jane's face revealed a little trepidation:
Which trepidation escalated with the speed of the boat:

We eventually solved that problem by letting her lay on our laps and then covering her from the wind with a big beach towel. Our first stop was a little bay they called Green Bay. But it was warm and didn't have any football. It looked like this:
Eric said the minerals in the water make it green. Sounds good to me. Check out Jenni twisting into her Photographic Wink:
She'll display that wink once more before we're through. From there we went to dock here:
Walked along a palm-lined promenade here:And got into vans here:Jane stipulated that she sit by Aunt Julie, and we obliged.

After a short drive, we jumped out and started walking through the rain forest. It was unbelievable. Don't we look incredulous:
The vegetation and flowers reminded me a little of Miami, meaning, it all looked so plastic and vibrant it didn't seem real:This thing's about the size of my forearm:
We finally arrived at a waterfall:It's the village's water supply, so we only let Sharon and Steve swim in it:We hiked to another waterfall:And then decided to throw in one more for good measure:
In the previous blog, I mentioned the kindness of Jane's aunts--always willing to pick her up when she asked. Well on this hike, Aunt Tammy earned the Championship Aunt Award:Tammy was Jane's preferred pack animal almost the whole time. Thank you Tammy. And also sorry.

Have you ever seen a more beautiful rain forest?:The answer is no.

After the rain forest, we made a stop in the village to have a tortilla making contest. To be frank, it was stupid. But I think it padded Eric's final bill, so kudos to him for thinking of it. Here is our instructor:And her students:The tortillas tasted like salt, flour, and water. If you can't remember that taste, lick some Play-Doh.

From there we set sail for Livingston, with Jane under the towel and the boat roaring and bouncing like a mechanical bull. You could imagine how freaked out Jane got, but then your imagination would be totally wrong. She fell asleep. Livingston was a cool little town. There are no roads leading to it, and it's only accessible by boat. There were a few cars there, though, and a number of motorcycles. When we started heading up the main street, Jane said, "Grandpa hold you." I knew she didn't mean he should hold me, so to Grandpa she went:Don't be fooled by the expression on her face. She was very happy till I yanked the pacifier out of her mouth right before the picture (normally Jane's only allowed her "paci" at night, but on a cruise, all bets are off).

But once we got to the restaurant, she was back into the arms of her own personal burro:The burro looks like she could use a "paci" too.

We left the restaurant and got halfway to the motor boat when I realized I'd forgotten my hat. I ran back to the restaurant, planning my Spanish the whole way. When I got there, I blurted out, "Estoy buscando mi sombrero!" My chest swelled with pride as they retrieved it.

We're about halfway through, so if you need to get up, go to the bathroom, get a snack, now's the time.

Alright, everyone back in their seats? So we jumped back onto the boat. Jane hid under the beach towel, and we sped up a gorgeous gorge:After a ways up the river, we stopped at another village, got out and did another hike. This village was special because it had a school where they taught women how to read and taught men not to be mad that women can read. And isn't that a school we can all root for? While Eric explained to us the importance of the school for women's rights, Jane played her favorite game--running while laughing:Jane doesn't place so much stock in book-learning. She's much more into life skills. Here she teaches Aunt Gaylene how to pick her nose:
The local villagers absolutely adored Jane:But then Jane insulted their leader when she made us hoist her on our shoulders while she shouted, "Jane's number one! Jane's number one":
Now I said in the last post that our family goes gaga over toucans. But it's kind of hard not to when your tour guide is even worse. We're walking along and Eric nearly has an embolism when he spots a toucan in a tree. Apparently, near embolisms are contagious, because before long, we all nearly had embolisms as we scrambled to see it. But spotting that toucan was tougher than finding Waldo. It was like disaster relief. Everyone was helping each other out. Richard sees it. He's showing Julie:Jenni's got it in her sights and out comes the Photographic Wink:Eventually, most of us caught a glimpse:
Well, we loved Guatemala, but we had to get back to the boat.Does Mom finally see that toucan?
We piled onto the boat and belched blue into the sky:
Julie snapped off a couple of last shots:Before the boat picked up speed:So long ancient village. So long authentic native fisherman:So long gorgeous gorge:
So long Guatemala.