Crazy Jane

I'm too tired for opening lines and conclusions. But here's our quotes for Jane.

Lately, after experiencing an intense frustration Jane likes to say, "That was so exasperating."

She also likes to say, "That's ridiculous." Like at the end of May when she said, "It's supposed to be spring. I don't want it to snow. It's ridiculous." The first time she said it she said ridicnunous.

When she makes Jack cry and I ask her to tell me what happened she says, "I don't have any answers." But she's not always mean to Jack. There have been two days now when she has gotten very somber and emotional and said, " I love Jack so much. I don't want to be mean to him." And one night after Jane had had a bad dream and Matt was putting her back in bed Jack woke up. Matt had to take Jack out of the room to try to calm him down. Jane came out and explained that she wanted Jack in there so she wouldn't be alone.

She also likes to say "just kidding" a lot. So she says things like, "I don't like toast. Just kidding." Or, "Mom, I want you to fall off the chair. Just kidding."

When Jane was coming out of anesthesia she was pretty crazy as you can imagine. In my attempt to make her happy I said, "I got you some candy, do you want some?" She yelled, "NO! Candy is gross!"

I took Jane and her cousin Max to a petting zoo. They seemed to enjoy themselves. After we had dropped Max off at home she announced, "That was dumb at the farm." I told her that was fine. I just wouldn't take her there again. She changed her tune after that.

Seeing Jane around kids makes me really nervous for her to start preschool. I think kids will either lover her quirkiness or think she's totally strange and not have the patience for her. Like when she was eating lunch with Max, she stood up and said, "Do you like my bum? I like your bum." Or the time when the 5 and 7 year old neighbor girls came and invited Jane to play. She ran to them holding her blue bird and, in her insanely high-pitched birdy voice that is nearly incomprehensible, said, "Baby bird want to come too!"

I would say her fascination with certain things have faded. So I was actually taken off guard when she patted my boob and said, "I love your boobs." I couldn't think of anything else to say but, "Why?" And she said, "Because they're funny."

I had to give a talk in church on Mother's Day. In the talk I listed examples of small sacrifices I make throughout the day. One of them was, "I don't eat the last pear because the kids will want it." A week later I counted out 6 Triscuits I was going to eat and set them on my knee. I had other Triscuits for Jane, but Jane took one of mine. I said, "Oh, Jane, you're supposed to eat those crackers." Because she's 3 and because she's a girl this set her off into an emotional spiral. When she stopped crying enough to speak she said, "But remember?! You said you don't eat the pear because the kids want it!"

The older Jane gets the more I love the things she says wrong. She is often exclaiming something, or herself is "beauliful." She also says "what else" in place of "or else." "Don't touch my owie what else it will hurt."

One time she went in to get Matt out of bed. He was already awake. Jane said, "It's time for you to wake up." Matt said, "I am awake." Jane said, "Open your eyes." Matt said, "They are open." Jane said, "No they're not. They're not open the right size like mine are."

Matt was helping Jane in the bath and while she was standing up she "broke wind." Matt and Jane looked at each other and smiled and then Jane said, "I made my toot just for you."

When Jane had her MRI done at the hospital, the child-life specialist who came to see her was VERY petite. She gave Jane a doll to color. Later when we were talking about her trip to the hospital Jane said, "She needed to be bigger." I said, "Who? The doll or the person who gave you the doll? She said, "The person who gave me the doll."

Matt walked in and Jane was wistfully staring out the window. She said, "That looks really fun." Matt asked, "what does?" Jane said, "Outside."

Jane came into the room with her pants sagging half-way down her bum. She was giggling and announced, "I am tickling my butt."

About once a day Jane likes to announce, "I hate bad peoples." One time she asked me if I hated bad people. I told her that I hate what they do and then went on to tell her how some bad people decide they don't want to be bad anymore. I told her that the bad people say, "I'm sorry Jesus I don't want to be a bad person anymore." And then Jesus says, "It's okay, but you have to try really hard to be a good person." Jane chimed in excitedly with, "Yeah, and then the bad people say 'Okay, I'll try really hard to be a good person' and then they turn around and they spring into sparkles and then they turn into a good person." Talk about a dramatic change of heart.

Jane announced, "I am so hungry. I need healthy food so I don't die a lot of times."

Matt walked into the living room and Jane was by the window smiling. She said, "I tasted the window." Matt said, "Oh, sick." Jane asked, "I won't get sick?" Matt said, "I don't know." Jane, as usual, became scared of sickness and death, and said, "Oh no!" Matt asked, "Why did you lick it?" Jane answered genuinely, "I don't know."

Matt said, "Jane, how did you get so cute? Did mommy and daddy make you cute?" Jane said, "No, bugs make me cute. But I don't like bugs." Jane not liking bugs is an understatement. She is terrified. I have to beg her to even go outside.

One night at the dinner table we were all eating. Jane was looking back and forth between me and Matt, grinning. She said, "I know you like to eat rice, guys."

Jane's new favorite song has a section where a guy sings in a falsetto. Jane loves it because she says, "Little girls are singing." and "I wish I singed like that." She tells me every time, "I want to sing like that when I get bigger."

We were at Julie's house one Sunday and Jane came outside crying. Matt said, "Jane, what's wrong?" She said, "The song was so pretty." (referring to the song Aunt Tracy was playing on the piano.)

Matt said, "You're a good egg, Jane, you're a good egg." Jane said, "No I'm not. I'm a yucky egg. Taste me and you will say I'm a yucky egg."

Jane analyzed our face shapes one day. She told me I had a circle face. She said to Matt, "I want you to have an oval face. You have a big balloon face."

Jane asked Matt, "Daddy, do you love to take care of me?" He said yes and Jane said, "That's so nice."

When Jane thinks you should be smiling and you're not, or should otherwise look differently she says, "You don't have the right face." or "You're not the right size."

Jane pretended to take Matt's temperature. Afterwards Matt asked, "What's it say, Doctor? Am I okay?" Jane said, "Yes, it says 25 thousand dollars."

(Time out with baby red bird:)

(And done!")