How Jane made us laugh this month

Jane, my dad and I were sitting in the living room. My Dad asked my mom who was in another room, "Did you eat, Marlene?" Jane replied, "No, I ate Mommy."

After Jane went to the restroom she astutely pointed out to me "Poo-poo matches your hair." Thanks Jane.

Jane really enjoys seeing our neighbor's girls who are 4 and 6 years old. They are really sweet to her. The other day they were telling Jane some stories and Matt and I were laughing because it seemed that Jane was getting pretty confused but was pretending to follow along. A few minutes later Matt peeked out and said that the neighbor girls were looking as confused as Jane had been because now it was Jane's turn to tell them a story. When Matt walked out the girls said, "We have a ladder if you need to get Jane's shoe out of the tree." Matt said, "Jane's shoe isn't in the tree." The girls explained, "That's what Jane said."


Jane has developed her first crush. It's on Evan from So You Think You Can Dance. She lights up when he comes on and says, "I like Evan" with a long emphasis on like. When other guys are dancing she asks me when Evan will be on again. And she just told me "I love Mommy and Daddy and Evan. Every people love me so much."

Jane told me that when she gets bigger she can get married in the temple and have a baby in her tummy.

But she's a little unclear about what else she can do at the temple. When we were driving home from Julie's Jane saw the beautiful temple in Draper and started explaining what she had done there. I took dictation. "I bought cheese at that temple. Yeah. I bought starbursts at that temple. Yeah. I bought starbursts and lollipops, go poo-poo at that temple. Yeah. Got married, remember?"

I asked Jane to stop jumping on the couch. She did it again and we had the following conversation:
Mom: "I said No."
Jane: "I said Yes."
Mom: "I'm the Mom."
Jane: "I'm the big, big GIANT!"

While getting ready to brush Jane's teeth Matt and Jane had this conversation:
Matt: Are you chewy? (something he asks her and then pretends to eat her)
Jane: No, I not food.
Matt: You're not?
J: You're food.
M: I am? Am I chewy?
J: Yeah. (pretends to eat him)
Then Matt started brushing her teeth. She kept interrupting him by pushing the toothbrush out of her mouth to talk:
I eat you all gone. (brush brush brush) You be sad. (brush brush brush) I just kiddin'.

Matt said to Jane, "If you go poo-poo in your pants you'll be in big trouble." Jane said very seriously, "If I go poo-poo in my pants, I die. (nodding her head) Yeah."

I told Jane that the three of us (me, Jane and Jack) could go outside. She counted us out "One, two, three" and then said, "Four's at work."

Matt got stern with Jane and Jane said pleadingly, "Don't be mad at me. You're my best friend."

When Matt was changing Jack's diaper Jack peed all over. Jane said very compassionately, "I sorry. I sorry Jack go pee-pee on you, Dad."

While I was nursing Jack, Jane said she was hungry and wanted toast. I asked her to wait for a few minutes and she said, "Get my toast with one hand."

Before going to the canyon we asked Jane if she wanted to go see nature. She got very excited and said, "I wanna go to nature's house." A few minute's later she said she wanted to go to Uncle Nate's house. I think she thought it was his full name.

Why is it that kids think that saying anything about poop would be funny? Jane was singing a song from Sesame Street that goes, "I'm talking Love. I'm talking, love, love, love." But she changed it to, "I'm talking poop. I'm talking poop, poop, poop." What's worse is how Matt and I kept laughing like a couple of five year olds.

While driving in the car Jane had a pretend phone. I wrote down what we heard her saying:
-Hello, Julie? Oh, my phone's beeping.
-Hey, Julie? I love to talk to you so, so much. I love to talk to you about something else I love. That little flag has stripes on it.
-I hit Paris. And that's not mean to hit Paris. I love to hit Paris. And that's not nice to hit Paris. (Disclaimer: As far as I know there hasn't been any hitting of Paris before).

We have a Baby Einstien DVD called Santa's Music Box. Essentially it consists of instrumental Christmas songs playing while shiny, spinning objects flit across the screen. I had put it on a couple of times to give Jack something to look at while in his vibrating chair. Since then Jane consistenly requests to watch "Jack's show." She loves it. I'm not sure why. But during a segment where they show different ornaments slowly spinning around Jane has pointed out the orange one a couple times now and told me that she likes that one. And then she slowly dances to the music. She even enjoys the music on the DVD menu. One time she sat watching the DVD menu for about 15 minutes straight. Matt thinks it's the least intelligent thing he's ever seen her do.


Jane has been hooked on phonics lately. She'll say a word like "pretzel" and then say, "what starts with pretzel" meaning what does pretzel start with. Then you sound out a "puh, puh" and she'll say "p." She'll do that with the last letter of the word, too, and she'll still say "starts with" when she means ends with. Some words she knows all by herself, like "daddy, starts with d." But she still has quite a way to go. One morning Matt was watching her play with her letter blocks. She lined up a bunch of them in a row and rattled them off. Matt wrote down the letters and numbers from the blocks: GPIN1T8KDW9X4LE. She said each letter and number pointing at each block as she said them. When she finished, she looked at the letters and numbers, as if to see what it spelled and said "That says cup. Starts with cup." Matt says that's the second least intelligent thing he's seen her do.