Jane is a big kid

Somehow I have a big kid.  You might not know that. I haven't written about her for the past seven months.  But what we have been lacking in frequency will be made up in length.

She's very emotional, which at times (multiple times a day) drives me crazy. At other times I adore it.

At her preschool graduation as they played pomp and circumstance and the kids took turns walking up to get their "diplomas" I watched Jane's eyes fill with tears.  Then I saw her get very serious as she must have decided she was NOT going to cry.  She told me from her seat up front, "I'm crying because I'm happy!" and forced out a smile.  After the ceremony, though, she hugged me, crying, and told me how much she was going to miss Ms. Jeanna.

Jane with her preschool bestie, Annie.

Our duplex was sold and we have a new landlord.  He quickly made the place his own by sawing down a pine tree, three big bushes, 2 lilac bushes, and lots of plants.  The day it happened I found Jane hiding under her blanket, sobbing.  She was sad about the plants being taken and was worried he would cut down her secret hideout behind the garden.

She still gets sad about growing up.  One night after I sang to the kids, "You are my sunshine" I explained what it meant.  After talking about, "Please don't take my sunshine away," Jane started crying about growing up and not living with us anymore.

One night we read in the scriptures about the rich young man who asked Jesus how to get to heaven.  The children's scriptures explained that only those who love God more than their things will go to heaven.  Poor Jane looked almost in tears as she admitted, "I don't know if I love Heavenly Father more than my toys."  Then she clarified, "I don't know for SURE that I do."

I grilled pizza one night for dinner.  Pizza is one of the very, very few dinners I can make that both Jane and Jack will eat.  But I was nervous they would find something to complain about since the pizza had been grilled.  I said a prayer by myself that they would both like it and eat it.  Once dinner got going and both the kids were chowing down and saying that they loved the pizza I told Jane about how I had said a prayer that they would like it.  Jane said, "I don't know if I've ever seen Heavenly Father make it come true before."

One emotion that Jane experiences frequently and intensely is embarrassment.  She started talking about being embarrassed about a year ago.  Even after all that time it always surprises me!  She is too young to be so embarrassed all the time.  One time I was dropping her off at preschool and we did our usual "doubles" (two hugs, two kisses and two "I love you's").  She peered around nervously and saw another mom.  She told me not to do doubles.  Sad.

I tied the moby wrap around me in preparation for putting Hank in it at the grocery store.  While driving to the store Jane expressed her concern over me wearing that wrap in front of people.  She was certain that people would laugh at me.

One night I needed to run to the grocery store before it closed.  I was wearing lounge pants (my typical mommy uniform) and was about to walk out the door.  Jane was mortified and said, "Mom!  Don't leave!  You're in your pj's! That's embarrassing!" After I left she told Matt, "I don't want everyone to laugh at my mom."

One day I was holding Hank and Jane came up to him and started talking to him in baby talk.  Then she went to take his hand to kiss it in a babyish way.  Only she accidentally kissed my thumb.  When she realized it, she looked up in horror.  Then ran away to hide.  I tried to talk to her and tell her it wasn't a big deal, but she said, "That's a really weird kiss for a grown up!"

She was the only student who wouldn't sing the "a tooty ta" song with her preschool class at graduation.   She was much too embarrassed for that.  But at least she actually said her speaking part this year.  That's a first.

Here's a song that she did participate in.



We can't help but tease her.  Matt told her that when her friend came over that Matt and I were going to sing, "tooty ta" for her.  She started freaking out and saying how embarrassed she would be.

While talking about Jack and Hank being named John and Henry, Jane asked about her own name.  I acted really sorry about it, but had to break it to her that her real name was Diarrhea, and we just call her Jane.  I explained that her teacher at kindergarten would call her Diarrhea at first.  She emotionally yelled, "I'm never going to go to school!"  It sounds so cruel, but I did not expect her to believe me!  Oh, we are mean.

Jane loves nature.  When she went with Matt to a pretty park to take pictures of the Sabins, she walked around saying, "How will we ever pick?!  Everything is so beautiful!"

One night Jane saw the sunset and came in to tell Matt to take a picture of it.

While at a picnic at the lake with a large group of friends, Jane loved how beautiful the lake was.  She took her food and sat on a rock to get a better view, which is saying a lot because she's always wanting to be with friends.

After seeing a beautiful flower next door Jane came in and told Matt, "Dad, I want to show you something that is so amazing, you could beautiful your head off."

Jane has been waking up at night but has no recollection of it in the morning.  She's always saying something crazy and always confused, upset and crying.  One time she was crying about having eaten something.  Another time she was showing me which finger was bending and was very upset about it.  Another time she said she didn't get to play with Haley and Karly.  One night she cried, "I want to play with you!"  And one time she came out, told me very seriously that she had to find "it", took me by the hand and led me outside in the pitch black to look for it.  Then I asked if she wanted to go back to bed and she said yes.

Jane is a sweetie.  She loves her brothers.  She told me that she wishes Hank would always be his size.  I said, "But won't it be fun when he can run around and play with you?"  She said, "But he's just so cute!"

In the middle of playing with Jack today she stopped, gave him a hug and said, "I love you, Jack.  You are so cute."  The fact that she still thinks he's cute melts my heart every time.

Jane earns nickels for doing chores.  And she likes her money.  But I've seen her slip her friends some nickels to be nice.  And she put a nickel in my mother's day card.

Jane has been exploring her romantic side.  It started with Brute the dog.  Matt has been making up stories for the kids at bedtime.  And they all star the same main character: Brute the dog.  Brute always battles bad guys and helps people.  She told Matt, "Dad, guess what?  Sometimes when I'm laying in bed I think about Brute and me.  And I'm a dog, and I'm really pretty, and Brute starts to think about wanting to marry me."

One day Matt told Jane that she was so gorgeous he couldn't let her go outside.  A few minutes later, on our way to a parade, Jane said to me, "What if  there is a boy in the parade and he sees me and thinks I'm so pretty that he wants to marry me?"

After reading a book about Superman she confessed that she started thinking about being supergirl and superman kissing her all over her face.

At a friends house they watched the show Eon Kid, about a boy who finds a robotic arm that gives him super powers and he fights robots.  When I asked her about the show she got so embarrassed she wouldn't even tell me what it was about.  Finally she said, "Well, it's about a boy...."  I instantly knew she had a crush on eon boy.

Jane is always, always, always creating something.  She creates drawings, songs, poems, outfits, forts, nature collages, and decorations for around the house.

She loves the My Little Pony show and her ponies.  It's definitely spooked her though.  One night I saw her check that all the doors were locked, about five hundred times in a row.  I asked her what was going on and she told me about the chicken-headed snake on the show that she was nervous about.  Another episode was about Spike the little dragon getting really big all of a sudden.  Jane did not like that idea, and asked me if it could really happen to a person.

Jane had a Twilight Sparkle pony from a McDonald's Happy Meal but then got the more legit Twilight Sparkle.  She spent a lot of time thinking about who she wanted to give her old Twilight Sparkle to.  She decided on her two-year-old cousin Leah.  I saw her give it to Leah at her cousin's house in California.  Leah wasn't very interested.  Then she tried her four-year-old second cousin.  The girl held it for a minute or two but then set it down in pursuit of other toys.  I saw Jane come by and pick Twilight Sparkle back up. She told me, "We need to give Twilight Sparkle to someone who won't drop it."

Jane is also very passionate about her friends.  She would rather play with friends than just about anything.  One night we were going to hang out as a family but a neighbor friend had asked her to play.  I sat her down and explained to her how much we love her and love having her with us and how much I wanted her to stay but that she could choose what she wanted to do.  It was a no-brainer.  She played with her friend.

And, of course, Jane is still saying crazy things.  After driving to California and getting to Matt's parents house at 2 in the morning, Jane said to her Grandma, "Do you want to see my new ponies?  They're so cute you will vomit."

I told Jane a few knock knock jokes and then she told me one.  Knock Knock.  Who's there?  Orange.  Orange who?  Orange slipped on the banana peel and it had poo in it.  I laughed and said, "That's gross!"  Then Jane said, "Just kidding, the orange slipped on the banana peel but the poo was next to it."

Some other attempts at jokes include, "Why did the toast go under water?  Cause the whale was going to kick his butt and put him on time out."  And "Why did the toast cross the road?  Cause the dolphin was going to eat him."

Here's another joke Jane made up for a friend.


I overheard Jane singing the primary song, "I like to look for rainbows..." but then she saw that I was listening and added, "whenever there is poop falling out of the sky."

When Hank was 2-3 months old Jane went to her friends house who had a tiny newborn baby.  She was telling me about how very cute the baby was.  Then she looked at Hank and said, "Everything about our baby is gigantic."

Jane had some cheerleading pompons and we took turns saying cheers.  I ended up doing one about BYU.  Then Jane offered, "Oh, I have one," and stood up and chanted, "Utah sucks!  Utah sucks!"  I'm thinking the Sabin cousins had some influence on that one.

She told me, "I'm going to build a swing set that everyone can come to.  Everyone in the whole universe, even from different cities, that even Jesus can come to!"

Jane asked me, "Can people fly to the moon?"  "Can they walk on the moon?"  "They can?  But only when there's a full moon, right?"

Lately we've been asking "Would you rather...?" questions around here.  Jane gets so mad when the question includes two bad or gross things.  When we explained it's too easy to say one bad and one good thing she said we could ask two good things, because then it's still tricky.

Here's one of Jane's more mild responses to a would you rather question.


I straightened Jane's hair for the first time in her life.  It was unimaginably thin.  She's lucky she has some curl.  I can't believe how very little hair she has for a five year old.  She loved it though and said she looked like all of her friends.

For awhile when Jane would interact with Hank she would turn into an absolute maniac.  We had to teach her to just talk to him like a normal person.  She would approach him with her teeth clenched together, speaking in a crazy voice, and say "Such a coootaayy!" and for some reason she would also say the phrase, "didn't you?" only like a crazy person.

Jane asked Matt what a Jewish person was.  Matt started explaining about different nationalities, pointing out people she knows from other countries.  While describing Jewish people Matt said that they're really smart.  Jane asked, "If they're really smart, why did they want to kill Jesus?"

Jack drank his milk really fast at dinner one night and Matt and I congratulated him on it.  Jane whined, "No fair!  He's the best drinker in the world instead of me!"

Jane asked me, "Mom, do I look like I'm six?" "Yes."  "Do I like like I'm seven just a tidge?"  Tidge is a word she uses that combines titch and smidge.

Jane has been saving up her money but was trying to decide on whether or not to buy a My Little Pony set that cost $15.00.  I told Matt that Jane decided not to buy the item.  Jane smiled big and said, "Yeah, So I can save, Save, SAVE! Until I poop my pants!"

Matt walked into the living room to see Jane teaching Jack a new trick.  She was standing on the ottoman and said, "And then you jump!" then jumped over Hank laying on the floor, barely clearing him.  Luckily Matt intervened before Jack took his turn.

Jane gave her horse a cape:  Superhorse.

Jane asked, "Why do bad people kill?"
Matt said, "I don't know, Jane."
"Do they kill because they think it's funny?"
"The really bad ones do."
"Why are they really bad?  Because they laugh when they kill people?"

Jane said, "Dad, this joke is a little funny:  Satan is awkward."
Matt busted up laughing and Jane said, "I told you it would be funny!"

Weeks later we asked Jane why she said Satan was awkward and she explained that a kid in her church class had said that Jesus was awkward.  She explained, "I didn't want to say Jesus is awkward but I knew that Satan is so I said Satan is awkward."

While Matt and Jane were each building something with Legos, Jane pleaded, "Dad, please don't make it cooler than mine."

Matt and Jane had a conversation about Buddy being adopted into the Pteranodon family on Dinosaur Train.  She seemed to understand the concept of adoption but then countered with the suggestion, "Maybe he's having a humungous sleepover."

Jane asked, "Dad, did you ever have your arm cut off when you were a kid?"

Jane asked, "How old were you when you got stung by a wasp?"
Matt said, "I was probably between the ages of five and seven."
Jane said, "So you were six?"

While in California Matt showed Jane a tree and said, "This is the tree I learned to climb in when I was little."
 Jane asked, "Did you climb the bark?"
"I used to climb all the way to the top and look out over all the houses."
"And then did you climb down?"
"Yep."
"I knew you could climb down because you're down right now!"

Jane likes "rockstar" songs.  While listening to songs with Matt Jane said, "I want a rockstar song...no piano."

Here's Jane singing a rockstar song she made up on the fly.

Jane's rockstar pose

While watching Dinosaur Train Matt asked Jane if she thought Dr. Scott was creepy.  Jane answered, "Paleontologists are never creepy."

Before getting dressed Jane announced, "Oooh, I'm going to get my Minnie Mouse shirt and my bling pants.  It'll look so cute it'll cute your face off."

After sharing some songs at the Sabin's Jane asked, "How do Sharon and Steve not know Chris Isaac? They're out of their brain!"  "Out of their brain?"  "I meant mind."

The kids had been playing with glow bracelets and I just told Jane that we were going to save the rest for some time that we would be outside in the dark.  Jane went to Matt and said, "Dad can you get me two blue bracelets?"  Matt said, "Mom said not right now."  Jane said, "Okay, okay, okay.  How did you hear that?"

Jane said, "Dad, I'm looking up at the sky to look at the stars to make a wish on top of them."

After talking to Jane about how we were first married without any children.  She asked, "First you guys were all alone with no kids?"  "Yeah."  Then she astutely asked, "But were you still happy you getted to have quiet time?"

Whenever Jane draws with Matt she says things like, "You need drawing lessons, right?" and "First you need to watch me draw, cause you don't really know how to draw stuff."  Then, when he drew to her liking she said, "I like when you draw like that.  It makes me feel love.  Not when you draw all crazy--that doesn't make me feel love from you."

I was telling Matt that I wanted to go to a thrift store.  I asked, "Isn't there a Savers around here?"  Jane joined the conversation and said, "There IS a Saver here."  Then she leaned in real close and whispered, "Jesus."

Jane said, "Dad, sometimes you're funny-dumb.  Sometimes you're dumb and sometimes you're SUPER FUNNY."

The kids make us put sugar in their yogurt if we only have the plain kind left.  After I bought vanilla yogurt Matt gave some to the kids and put sugar in it.  Jane said, "This is the best!  Vanilla with sugar." Jack said, "No.  Mommy said we don't put sugar in vanilla."  Jane said, "He doesn't know what he's talking about."

Jane was on her way to a friend's pajama birthday party.  Her friend's dad's name is Shane.  We suggested she wear her cute "I love Daddy" pj's and Jane said, "I don't want to wear these!  They might think I love Shane!"

Matt was acting like a baby, saying things like goo, goo.  But Jack told him, "Dad!  Talk to me!  Talk to me normal!"  Jane said, "I can't believe he says normal so good."

And for those who actually read this whole thing I have saved the best for last.  I could not stop laughing about this last one:

Jane and I were waiting in the car at a gas station for Matt and Jack.  When Matt got in the car Jane asked, "Dad, if somebody walking by said, 'Does she pick her nose a lot?  If she does, I'll kill her.' would you say I do?"

Here are some videos of Jane singing some songs she made up.  The best lyrics in the first one is "One time I saw the sunlight recording your life so down inside."